I would like to introduce the concept of my newest invention, the Esophageal Food Teleporter™. It's simple really. As described in the illustration:"As the user eats whatever their bounding heart desires, the food reaches the first teleporter in the upper esophagus. It teleports all food out of the body, never to be digested.
Just above the stomach is a second teleporter, which teleports directly into the stomach: purreed vegetables, vitamins, minerals, and amino acids that the body needs to function perfectly."
This way, we can eat whatever our secretly gluttonous heart desires at all hours of the day. Finally, a time will come when humans can consume themselves in gorging and lethargy without suffering from such severe conditions as type 2 diabetes, tank ass, turkey neck, and jello arm. Our bodies will never have to endure the consequences of the fat, cholesterol, lard, high fructose corn syrup, maraschino cherries, and beer batter that would eventually choke us to death in a permanent, gurgling fat-suit of bacon grease and hot fudge.
Imagine a wonderful world in which people are left to indulge in their deepest insatiable gluttony with absolutely no negative consequences whatsoever! A world in which every person can take and take and take as much as they want, without having to pay any of it back, forever avoiding any negative effects of any of their actions.
Are pleasures meaningless if there are no limits to their consumption? Are consequences worthless if they can be avoided indefinitely? Would it throw our being completely out of whack to have an endless continuum of yummy sinful delights without any of the consequences?
Having said all that, it occurred to me that the only pleasure I can possibly think of that has no consequences whatsoever – that we can indulge in endlessly and actually become better people because of it – is love. Love for each other, love for ourselves, and love for the world that we live in. It would be nice to be in a place where such love truly was endless and available wherever and whenever we wanted. And was available to us whether we were aware of it or not, whether we wanted it or not, or whether we deserved it or not. Hmm... where could I find such a thing?
While your idea has merit (and your parody is entertaining), dietary satisfaction comes not only from tasting food, but the biochemical reaction the foods give us. Starches and fats are wholly satisfying, both while you eat and when the chemicals and fats they contain are released into your body. If gluttons really wanted to only taste the food, they'd just go Roman-style and use the vomitorium.
ReplyDeleteLove is cool and all, but as a hedonist, all pleasures are guilt-free - guilt is self-realized. Safe sex can have "no consequences" (at least in the same way love has "no consequences"), and pleasure eating in moderation is about the best thing in the world.
While I'm sure I'm off-topic at this point, all things (love included) have consequences, but hedonism is the art of mitigating potential problems in favor of pleasurable solutions. Just because you can keep having more and more of something doesn't make it meaningless - there's still pleasure. But burnout is a consequence as well, so moderation is key.
I feel a lot of times that is what we are all searching for. A way to find love, a way to feel secure, a way to feel cared for. I think people find many ways to "feel" this. But sadly it is not always to a good end, and they find that what made them feel secure and loved is not at all reliable or loving. The true journey is in finding something that is true, that will never prove false. That is what I feel we are all searching for. The question is, are people strong enough and brave enough to follow the sometimes long path that leads to an answer? Thanks for sharing with us Chris!!
ReplyDeleteEvery action has a consequence whether good or bad, even love. But here we find ourselves trying quantify something that holds no true definable measure. Be careful of trying to assign measure to those things which are beyond measure. For instance I would not ask the number 4 what its favorite color is because it is without cognition, but what is its favorite color? The questions are often times just as important as the answer.
ReplyDeletePS you rock